i got awaken by these feelings; scared, worried, happy etc, causing butterflies-in-my-stomach terms into reality. it was 2.00a.m and i rushed to the toilet to vomit.
why? what happened?
takde apa pun..i just got panicked i guess. Dalia starts schooling today. woke her up at 6.40am. prepared her breakfast; she wanted rice and milo. bathe her at 7am and she finally got dressed at 7.15am. braided her hair and by 7.30am, she was ready. complete with her shoes and school bag.
she's cute isn't she? nasib baik papa dia yang hantar masuk kelas. even kami semua ikut hantar ke sekolah, i insisted on staying in the car. biar papa yang hantar masuk.
and as i thought it would be, i cried. even watching this pictures, i cried. missed her already. bukan sebab apa, rasa macam tak percaya yang dia dah mula sekolah. besides, we never been apart before. since her birth. ada la juga tinggal2 dgn nenek dia, time aku ngandung, nak gi checkup dan bersalin. but semua tu tetap juga buat aku menitiskan air mata. walaupun tinggalkan dia dgn nenek dia. tapi aku kena terima hakikat, she's growing up. dah besar, dah comel, dah bijak, dah pandai jaga adik dan dah mula bertanggungjawab. aku tak risau nanti kalau nak bersalin bulan 6 sok..aku leh tinggalkan dia dgn senang hati, knowing that she'll take care of her siblings. especially Dalili.
uhhh..rasa masih lagi libang libu. berselirat segala macam perasaan. sekarang dah dekat pukul 10. dalia habis sekolah kul 11.30. tak sabar nak tahu cerita dia hari pertama bersekolah.
hopefully she didn't cry.
hopefully I won't cry...