Erza Dalia,
just a note here my dear princess. u brought joyous moment in my life. having you as my first child, is a blessed. i remember saying that u r the most beautiful baby in the world. coz u r mine, of course. there are in fact so many beautiful babies out there but you, are the love of my life. you are the symbol of how much i love your father. as to your father. he loves you dearly, dalia. so much. it shows in every words, actions and reactions he takes on you. i love u too. i watch you dearly in a way you won't notice. because I'm a mother. and i have 3 other children to give attention to. i have to be equal. why i state this out? because i don't want you to feel left out whatever or whenever the situation may be in the future. because, you my dear are a bit the same with me in the inside. your every move and ideas, i somehow can predict. i state this because i don't want you to rebel, like i did. for you'll regret, one day. i state this because i once felt (or still feel?) neglected by my parents (your atuk and opah laa..). why? because they were taught differently. i guess they weren't taught to nurture and express/ show their love to their children, as their parents. and as the result, i felt neglected. but when they turning mature, and one by one their children got married, i think they began to realise or maybe (i said MAYBE) feeling a bit empty. as in losing somebody dear to them. I'm not saying that atuk and opah doesn't love me. as parents, they do..i know. sape tak sayang anak oiiii!! same goes to you, dalia. i love you so much. if u ever felt burdened by whatever we asked you to do regarding you other siblings, it's simply because we trust you and because we know your capability. but hey! whenever we asked you NOT to, that means we were afraid it might hurt you, physically or mentally. bear that in mind, ok dear? we love you, we do.
Ziyad Erza,
boy, u r one good gift from above! we were waiting for you in excitement. to have a boy, is some what a proud moment for every parents. and ziyad, you are also a hard-to-handle boy. you are loving and soft-hearted but also stubborn and sensitive. easily cried, i'd say. but you are also very strong at heart. i love to see how much you love your young sis and bro. the way you evolve and behave around them, put me in awe. you are also protective and picky! unlike your sister, dalia who's more friendlier. but i won't forget the two scenes in life regarding the two of you. scenes where dalia showed her emotion out towards you, ziyad. how she cared and concerned.
- when ziyad were cycling recklessly and hit the wall
- when we went out for dinner at jeram, while we were waiting for our order, i took them (except zahin, stayed with papa) to the small jetty there. where we can see the fishermens boat and i told them a bit about fishing. the jetty is fully concreted and the gap between the side pillar (the small ones) were quite spacey. i was warning the kids not to put their head or their legs out for their slippers or them, themselves might fell down to the muddy slope, when suddenly dalia was breathing heavily with eyes red saying 'abis cemana dgn yad punya selipar ni?' Just then i realised, that one of ziyad's slippers had already fell off down there. goodness!!!! how on earth??!! i haven't finished warning! i went down to get it but hell i was too heavy that the muddy slope couldn't hold me. i nagged all the way back to our table. luckily my hubby was in a very good mood that day. he calmly and with smile on his face went down and proudly showed me the slipper he managed to get back. yeah..ok..you are lighter. then only dalia stop crying. while ziyad? emotionless. cried only because i twitched his ear. and because i got mad with him.
how i love all of you..so much.
to be continued..
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