i have lots of things to be loaded down onto this page actually. it is just that my mind sort of clogged. too many things wander and too many things to remember. tired and getting more tired everyday. wonder why...
life is just great. with healthy and lovely and active kids, my life is full. plus a loving husband (even he sometimes doesn't show it; or maybe he doesn't know how to) life is fun. at least that's what i feel. but that doesn't mean that i am always happy and laughing and smiling. there are other things too that blocking my happy mood to be expressed one whole day to the whole world but i accept it as it is. if i want to jot down here or to make listings of things that make me happy and unhappy each day, the page just wont fit.
i am actually not a person who likes to express my feelings. i am the kind who like to hide it and keep things to myself. i don't know whether i can still carry the burden that's been loading since long time ago. i am afraid of what it might do to me. thank god, i have Him. whenever i got angry, stressed or tensed, i refer to Him. He may not answer or comfort me right away but at least i feel relieved. i want to be closer to Him everyday. i'm trying to do so. it's hard, that's true. but i will, in order to achieve calmness and cleaner, brighter, more relaxed mind and heart.
Ya Allah, hamba Mu ini amat memerlukan limpahan kasih sayang Mu. Bantulah aku, ya Allah. Hanya Kau yang maha mengetahui dan maha memahami segala yang bergolak dalam jiwa dan bermain dalam mindaku.
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